It is no surprise then that this beautiful gift has been diminished in our age and is under constant attack.
That marriage is lessened in the eyes of the world is no surprise, for we expect that, but it may be surprising to see it devalued in the church. How does the church devalue marriage?
There are a number of ways. To begin, however, we must understand that marriage has always been under attack. It is for this reason that the author of Hebrews had to instruct his readers that, "Marriage is to be held in honor among all" (13:4). This has always been a issue among believers, a target that the devil places in his sights when he wishes to cause harm to the church. Marriage is something that must be intentionally guarded and shored up! We must fight against the tendencies of our flesh as we watch for these ways that marriage can be devalued.
First, marriage can be dishonored by immaturity. There are many people in our day who wish to prolong adolescence indefinitely by living a disorganized and easy life for their own sake. These people view marriage with some disdain as if it were for people who 'just don't get it'--"because if I get married, how could I keep serving myself, right?" In reality it is these marriage avoiders who fail to understand that within marriage the call to responsibility, maturity, and self-giving love are chief blessings.
Second, marriage can be dishonored by fornication and adultery. The author of Hebrews makes this connection explicit in 13:4, when he says that God will judge fornicators and adulterers. Just as a loving marriage paints a beautiful picture, sexual sin outside the bounds of the marriage covenant paints a picture, too, only this picture is unwholesome, tragic, and blasphemous. If marriage is meant to represent Christ and His church, adultery and fornication falsely represent the Lord as if He were traitorous and unloving.
Third, marriage is dishonored by those who treat it lightly. This can be done by those who are married or by those who are getting married. Married couples sometimes fall into destructive patterns that leads to clear and disruptive sin, however, there are patterns that are less evidently destructive as well. Think of a husband who consistently fails to lead his wife, or a wife who consistently fails to submit in a biblical way--have they not equally misrepresented Christ and the church? Those who are pursuing marriage can dishonor marriage in many ways. They can enter thoughtlessly into marriage, as if it were a light matter. They can fail to establish boundaries for their intimacy (physical intimacy, but also emotional intimacy), thereby acting as if there were no special privileges for those who have entered into the safety and permanency of the marriage covenant. They can date recreationally, acting as if relationships were about meeting their own felt needs instead of about serving God and others.
In all these ways, marriage can be dishonored in the church. We ought to understand marriage in line with God's expressed will and then act accordingly for His glory in the world. Mere understanding is not enough--we must apply the teachings of Scripture so that we manifest the greatness of this beautiful gift from our loving God. We must live in such a way that our marriages reflect the dawning glory of The Marriage--that of Christ the Lord to His beloved bride.
--Dean of Admissions
